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Six Financial Mistakes That Married Couples Make

Posted by: Matty Byloos | May 23,2008


Most couples don't sit around discussing the joys inherent in sitting pretty on all of their collective wealth. That would be a deluxe daydream, to say the least. Instead, the reality of marriage might definitely include conversations over financial pressures and what can often become a daily argument about money. Who spends too much? Who bought the most unnecessary item for the house this month? Who piled on the greatest addition to our ever-increasing debt? When did marriage turn into such a ridiculous series of financially based contests?

Most couples will fight occasionally, and when they do, typically, the subject is money. Making matters worse, many couples claim that their reason for divorce had something to do with finances. Creating a partnership based on love and communication is difficult enough; throw in the part about creating a financial union together and things can get very tricky. Here are some of the most common financial mistakes that married couples tend to make. Avoid them at all cost whenever you can.

Marriage and Money Mistake No. 1: How You Handle Debt

Personal debt can cause any number of problems, whether a partner brings it into the marriage, keeps it a secret from their spouse or acquires it as a result of poor financial habits while in the relationship. No matter what, debt is something to be entirely honest about, at any stage of the relationship. After all, you are forming a partnership together that is also like your team business. Sit down together, break down what lead to the debt in the first place and then strategize about how to pay it down. Then work to create better habits that will help you both avoid a similar predicament down the road.

Marriage and Money Mistake No. 2: When Spending Gets out of Hand

Everyone tends to be part saver, part spender, just to varying degrees. Sometimes, a person who is far more weighted on the spending side enters a marriage with their opposite, a true saver. The mistake here only arises out of defining these two roles in opposition to each other, and claiming one to be right while the other is wrong. Rather, work to define the positive and negative sides to each position, and work on a compromise that allows both partners to spend reasonably while saving for a secure future.

Marriage and Money Mistake No. 3: Combining Finances Unsuccessfully

It can be difficult to know exactly how to merge two individuals’ finances once married. Many options are available and deciding what is best for a couple should be the beginning of the financial conversation that will take place for the duration of the marriage. The mistake here might be assuming that one way is better than any other is, without trying a few variations until you settle into something works for you and your partner. Keeping a joint account, keeping your money separate or keeping a joint account for shared expenses and individual accounts for personal spending all may be viable solutions.

Marriage and Money Mistake No. 4: Investing Without Shared Goals

Investing strategies tend to factor in a certain amount of risk – and everyone is comfortable to a different degree with how much risk they can handle, especially when it comes to money. If you don’t take the time to plan your goals with your partner, you will inevitably run into trouble. Mapping out both short-term goals (like planning next summer’s vacation) and long-term goals (like planning for your retirement together) is an essential aspect of investing. With shared goals, you will better be able to determine how much risk you can assume and where you can best tolerate it in your portfolio.

Marriage and Money Mistake No. 5: Failing to Plan for an Emergency

Assuming that everything will be fine just because you are young, or because you have no prior history of illness can be the greatest mistake you make in a marriage. One tragic accident, unforeseen medical emergency, employment termination or weather disaster could mean the beginning of the end for you, financially speaking. It is important for married couples to maintain complete and comprehensive insurance, from health benefits to homeowner’s and disability insurance. It is also wise to begin an emergency savings fund, keeping at least three months worth of expenses accounted for at all times in the account.

Marriage and Money Mistake No. 6: Financial Secrets

Maybe you have a gambling problem. Maybe you have alimony payments to an ex-spouse. Perhaps there is a bankruptcy on your credit record. Failing to disclose all of your financial information fully to your spouse can be a serious mistake. When you tie your finances together, you potentially expose your partner to all of the problems you faced in your independent financial life. Poor credit, outstanding debt or payments that must be factored into the total picture of your family’s financial health – all must be discussed early and often, for the sake of the marriage. Be strategic about money – not emotional.

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