Talking About Money with a Spouse

Posted by: Michael S. | Jan 15,2008


Here’s a good article about how to talk about money with your spouse.  It brings up some good points that I haven’t brought up before on the blog.  Some of the points may seem pretty minor, but for such a touchy subject, you have to be pretty careful.  These are good tactics if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s allergic to talking about money.  There are good and bad ways to broach the subject. 

1. Find a good time to talk.  This is one of those that seems minor on the surface but is actually extremely important.  Bring up the subject at a good time: perhaps after a meal (rather than when a person is hungry).  Is the person in a good mood.  When is he or she generally more talkative?  
2. Get paperwork in order.  It’s a good idea to have some visuals on hand, such as credit card bills, bank statements, and the like.  This will make a much more persuasive case about your current debt situation.  
3. Also, have a plan in order.  If the person is averse to talking about money, he or she will probably be averse to offering solutions once you start the conversation.  In one way, this is good news.  It puts you more in the driver’s seat.  Have a plan formulated before you sit down together.  This means finding those costs that need to be cut down.  
4. Bring up the past.  Make it a conversation, not just a budget meeting.  Talk about your personal experiences with money, including your upbringing.  This can open up the dialog and make it seem less like a budget hammer is coming down.  
5. Meet again.  Once you set down all the particulars, meet again in a few months to see how you’re getting along.  Again, bring paperwork so you can see your progress in writing.  

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